W3D2: Ask Yourself

I get asked a lot what motivates me. What keeps me inspired? What do I do when I just don't feel like working out? I find inspiration from lots of things. It could be a conversation I've had with someone, a personal victory in the gym, a new number on the tape measure, just about anything really. Look for inspiration and you will find it. Look for the good and you will see it. But there are days. Oh, there are days. Plenty of times I've walked into the gym half asleep and told my partner, 'I don't wanna.' And I love how she knows me well enough that every.single.time. her response is, 'Yes you do. Let's go get started.' :D But there are also those moments when I'm in the comfort of my own home. A soda in the fridge will beckon. A nibble here and a nibble there of something yummy. The couch will call my name on the weekend instead of the gym. But a question I have been learning to ask myself along the way is, 'Will this help me achieve my goals?' I say it, sometimes out loud, every time I am tempted. If the answer is 'no' then it's clear cut. I just don't do it. Plain and simple. And let me tell you, it works for every temptation. So my challenge to you is to ask yourself this question. Make it a habit. Make it the first thing that runs through your mind when you're tempted. See the results!

W3D2 Operation: Unleash the MILF

Workout Duration: 1:04:27

*About 15 minutes of this was spent dicking around, putting weights away. ;)

Calories Burned: 548

I am happy to say that in only two full weeks, I've said buh-bye to 5 inches. Over half of that was off my hips! My weight has yo-yoed plus or minus 3 pounds this week but....uh....well if you're a woman you know the reason for that. ;) I don't rely on the scale as a measure of my success at this point. This is all about inches and body fat, baby! Speaking of, that went down 0.1%. 

W3D1: Victory

Most of you probably remember back to your school days when you were given a 'fit test' in physical education class. In my case, it was given twice per year. I remember the dread that filled my body when I heard it announced. There were sit-ups and push-ups and chin-ups. But there was one thing that scared me more than all of those combined: the one-mile run. See, I had childhood asthma and not only was my physical fitness level a deterrent, so was my asthma. I remember the feeling of my lungs clenching up, struggling for air, almost blacking out at times because I couldn't breathe. It's a scary feeling for a kid! And while I'm sure that my fitness level, or lack thereof, had a lot to do with my fear of the fit test, I think my asthma and fear of not being able to breathe sheathed me in a mental chain so strong it's taken all these years to overcome it. I've never wanted to push myself to the point of an asthma attack, so anytime I had running on the list I just took it slow and did more run/walk than anything. Of course there were body pains while running, but most of my fear was unfounded. It was all in my head.

So today after our workout, my partner and I headed out to the track to do a little cardio. We'd already decided to go to a night time Zumba class so we weren't really aiming to push ourselves. I honestly just wanted to see how many laps I could do. The most I've ever run continuously was 1.5 laps so I figured I might go for 2.5. I don't know what happened, but I consider it nothing short of miraculous. There in the hot Guam sun, I ran four full laps....without stopping. That's one mile. I had just completed the dreaded one-mile run! I sat down on the bleachers, amazed. What just happened? I remember along the way thinking about the contestants on the Biggest Loser. If those people(some weighing over 400 lbs) can do a 5k, I could do this one mile. And then I heard my partner cheering and running towards me with a huge smile on her face. Holy crap. I really did do that! I wasn't dreaming!! And better, I wasn't dying!! I felt good, not too winded. So she came and sat next to me and gave me a big hug and that's when the tears started flowing. I had been released from my mental chain. The fear of the one-mile run had vanished. And then two other workout buddies joined us and celebrated with me. More tears ensued.

Every day it seems there is some new milestone right around the bend. Whether it be a heavier lift, a longer distance, or a smaller measurement. I awake each day looking forward to whatever victory it holds for me. Of course it wasn't always this way, but I find the better care you take of yourself, the more positive your attitude becomes. And the more positive your attitude, the more change you will see. Free yourself of your mental chains. Conquer your fears head-on. Live your life, don't let it live you.

W3D1 Operation: Unleash the MILF

A.M. Workout Duration 34:08
Calories burned: 380

P.M. Workout Duration 58:59
Calories burned: 796
 

W2D4: Do-Overs

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W2D3: Simplicity

When people undergo a drastic transformation, they're always asked 'how did you do it?' Their audience is looking for that magic pill or secret they've never heard. When I'm asked how my transformation happened, my favorite new answer is, 'simply.'

Let's rewind a bit. Aside from having divorced parents at a young age, I lived a pretty kosher life for the most part. I didn't always have what I wanted, but I always had what I needed. I witnessed some abuse but I myself was not abused. The closest thing I had to depression was being picked on by other kids because I was a little bigger than they were. I went to a great high school that gave me many opportunities to showcase my singing talent. I can't even begin to tell you when my struggle with food addiction started, or why. I distinctly remember one of my first jobs of packing to-go orders for a local restaurant. Every order included a couple of these delicious poppyseed rolls with cinnamon honey butter. Whenever I'd open the bread drawer, I'd put two in the order and take one for myself. You do realize I was packing about fifty of these orders a night, right? I guess all the time spent on my feet made up for the insane amount of calories I was taking in because I didn't really gain any weight. And of course I got a discount on my food so every night after my shift I'd get myself a ginormous burger, and take it home and eat it at midnight, then go to bed. Healthy habits in the making right there, folks. NOT! When I went to college there was a little pizza stand right across the street from my dorm. Ready-to-eat pizza and breadsticks 24-hours a day. Again, stupid choices were made, and often. When I moved in with my husband(who was my boyfriend at the time), we were living off very little money until I found a job and of course, thinking it was expensive to buy healthy, I made bad choices again. So that said, I can't blame my weight gain on the actions of others. I don't have that excuse. The only reason I can give is my own stupidity.

Back to 'simply.' As the weight has fallen off over the last year, and at a quick pace, I'm often asked how I did it. At first it was making simple changes. I started exercising. When that change stopped working by itself, I started changing my eating habits and shopping the perimeter of the grocery store. And when those two things stopped working, I took a really good look at the things I was buying and how much of them I was consuming. I've never been a huge calorie counter. I'll do it for a couple weeks at a time if I'm not seeing any progress, but normally I just follow the rule of thirds(more on that later). I've never had any long-term success with diets or shakes or pills. And so it seems that now, the easiest way to shed the weight has been the most simple. You eat right(clean), you get enough exercise, you get enough sleep and you stop worrying about it. Just get into your groove and live it. Don't do it for a few months and stop. Live it...FOREVER. So my challenge to you is to get simple. Don't over think it. Make a healthy plan for your life, stick to it, and watch how easily the changes occur.

W2D3 Operation: Unleash the MILF

Today was the hardest workout, yet. My partner and I really struggled to get through the circuit as the last three moves(dumbbell lunges, v-ups, and box jumps) really took it out of us. But we made it through and I'm really proud of us. I also feel like I'm already starting to see some changes in my body. I'm officially down into the 160's(a number I've never seen!) and feel like my muscles are coming out to play now that I've adjusted my caloric intake UP, and getting my macronutrients straightened out. Here are some really bad iPhone pics that I took yesterday. Obviously you can't tell much but I hope to repeat this series every couple weeks till the end of the program. And of course I'll wear less clothes in better light as time progresses. ;) And I want to tell you women out there, don't be afraid to lift heavy. I might look bulky to you but let me assure you...THAT IS FAT. I still have quite a bit of fat on my body. That's why we call it 'leaning out.' Lifting heavy will not bulk you up. You lack the hormones.

Workout Duration: 35:53
Calories Burned: 429 *Note, this does not include cardio. I skipped today's cardio in favor of zumba last night.*

W2D1: Mean Girls

I was never the 'popular' kid in school. Hell, I was lucky if one of the popular kids asked me for an answer on a test. I also was not your typical high school beauty. Looking back, I've never really thought of myself as beautiful, or pretty, but I guess that's in the eye of the beholder. I didn't play on a winning sports team. I didn't make straight A's. Boys never asked me on dates and I went to my senior prom stag(dork!). I was picked on for my size, called fat, ugly, you name it. But I had one thing that all of the girls and boys who picked on me didn't. My gift was in my song. I used to sing...a lot. I like to think I was pretty good at it. I made all-state choir all through high school, sang in the honors chorus, entertained the crowd at various events and even sang the National Anthem a handful of times. My song was pretty much all that got me through high school. It was the only reason I woke up in the morning and went to school. It was the only reason I kept my grades at the 'average' level instead of failing, so that I could participate in these different singing groups. I played in the band, too, but singing...singing was special. In that block of time I was the 'cool' kid. The one that knew how to do things with my voice that others around me did not. The one who was sought after to stand on the 50-yard line and sing America, The Beautiful right after 9/11. My weaknesses were many, but I had this one strength.

As I've grown older and matured, I've found that these so-called 'mean girls' still exist. People are downright cruel. They will take any chance they can to poke fun at you, hit you when you're down, talk shit behind your back and make you feel like the dirt on the ground. This has been true in every facet of my life that I have been passionate about. It's like the minute I care about something, someone is there just waiting to bring me down. I'm not saying I'm an angel by any means, or that I don't love a good joke or to poke fun at my friends, but there is a difference in having a good laugh and having that laugh at someone else's expense. I remember back when I first started this journey, the sneers on people's faces as I told them I was going to run a 5k or maybe try weightlifting. I'm not sure what changed in me that I started NOT listening to their snide remarks, but I closed off my ears. And in that, I set my mind, heart, and body free. So I'm going to leave you with a song I found that has inspired me recently. Just as I sang in school, I sing in my car every.single.morning. And LOUDLY! All the while saying a little bit of thanks to those mean girls that have teased, tortured and humiliated me.

W2D1 Operation: Unleash the MILF
Workout Duration: 52:43
Calories Burned: 469
*Squat jumps with pulses are THE DEVIL. Owwww!

W1D3: You Lift WHAT?!?!

I remember back when I started lifting, I struggled to curl 5-pound dumbbells and do squats with my body weight. In a little over a year, I've come quite a long way(still more to go, though!) and have proudly lunged around the weight room with a 35-pound plate overhead or 25-pound dumbbells at my sides. And I've smirked proudly to myself in the mirror as I shoulder pressed a 55-pound barbell over my head. But all that doesn't seem to matter now. Why? Because Operation: Unleash the MILF is kicking.my.ass. I don't normally do circuit-style training, instead, my body has grown used to eight to ten repetitions of a particular exercise, followed by about thirty seconds of rest before heading into the next set. But this week...this week has been a hard smack in the face. As my partner and I went through our circuits yesterday, I groaned my way through shoulder presses with 15-pound dumbbells. And then I cussed my way through walking lunges with measly 10-pound dumbbells at my sides. Hopefully no one saw the embarrassment on my face or heard the little voice in my head that was telling me to 'just give up. This is just the wrong program for you.' I wanted to smack that little bitch and tell her to get outta my head! I had work to do! I cannot even begin to tell you the anger that arose inside of me as I started my third circuit and had to drop down to 5-pound shoulder presses. Really? REALLY?!?!? I have worked so hard to come here and now be beaten back into the ground by some circuit training? But you see friends, this is where my anger helps me. I have always been the type of person that when told I can't do something, I'm gonna go do it. And I'm gonna do it better than you ever expected. So 5-pound dumbbells be damned. In the words of a friend, I "will conquer those bitches!" So I will leave you with one of my favorite images, even though it seems like it's mocking me at the moment....

Workout duration: 46:02

Calories burned: 462

*My workout got cut about ten minutes short due to daycare calling to say my baby girl had a high fever. She's on the mend now and I feel good about the work I did, even with the lacking time. :)

W1D2: Let's Talk Goals

Most of us are taught to set goals from a young age. Whether that be saving money, getting an A on a test, or being the best at our sport, they all have one thing in common: starting something and finishing it. When I first started this journey, I set one goal and that was to weigh less than 200 pounds. I had my eye set on 199 and figured I'd probably stop once I got there. But as the weeks went on and the weight came off, I liked what I saw enough to keep going once I'd reached my goal. After that, my next goal was to wear a bikini on the beach and feel comfortable. I still have not reached that goal  but I know that one day I will get there. In the meantime, I wear my bikini and try not to worry about it too much. I'd rather just have fun than worry about sucking in my gut. Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I've worked damn hard to get as far as I have and there is no shame in that! Another goal I have, and this happens to go along with Operation: Unleash the MILF, is to get down to 20% body fat. All this to say, goals come in many forms and can be achieved in many ways.

Sometimes I like to chat with the personal trainers at my gym and have them weigh in on my weight loss(no pun intended). I've been told to pick a number, to pick a size, or to pick a functional fitness goal such as doing an unassisted pull-up(getting there!). But something no personal trainer, or anyone else for that matter, can tell you is what goal to pick for yourself. Sure, they can help you achieve your goals but they cannot pick the goal for you. Nor should they! Health and fitness is such a personal thing and I think sometimes it's good to step back, refocus, and remember that you are doing this for you. And if you're like me and don't work with a personal trainer, know that there are many, many ways to reach whatever goal you set. You want to run? Start running and see how far you can go, then go further next time. Not working for you? Find a program like Couch to 5K to get you started and coach you along. Still not working? Get a friend involved! Got a Diet Coke habit? Cut it cold turkey. Just bite the bullet and do it. Too much? Work to subtract a few ounces a day from your diet until you reach the magic number of ZERO. Still not your thing? Pay yourself! For every hour a day you don't take a sip, give yourself a quarter!

YOU hold all the tools within yourself to set a goal, to reach that goal, and to surpass it and become better than even you expected. So my challenge to you is simple: Figure out what you want to do. Brainstorm four or five ideas to help you achieve that goal and find the one that works best for you. It really is that simple. :)

And now for my summary of today's Operation: Unleash the MILF workout....I have never, ever come so close to losing my breakfast in the weightroom. My circuits involved burpees at the end and by the second round it was taking every ounce of mental strength to not blow chunks. Pretty, huh?

Workout Duration: 55 Minutes

Calories Burned: 509

Most Memorable Quote: "It's been awhile since I've seen a pebble."

And I must tell you about the funniest moment of my day. I shouldn't laugh. I really shouldn't. You see, one of the girls that works out alongside me(and sometimes with me!) was doing her thing on the treadmill, running off some excess energy. My partner and I started messing with her, cheering her on, and next thing we know? That woman has tripped, done a flip, landed on her back and is sailing down the belt. She lay there for a moment composing herself, gets up, and with a red face starts laughing. And of course we all follow suit because...DUH...that's funny stuff! Thankfully she is okay with some bumps and bruises. I'm sure she'll feel it tomorrow but I am so proud of her for getting back on that treadmill and finishing her workout, even if it was just walking. And this is one of the reasons I love these ladies so much. We don't take anything too seriously. When it's time to work, we work! But then we like to dick around plenty, too. ;)

Operation: Unleash the MILF

That's what I'm calling the next 12 weeks of my life. I have taken on a new training plan and have my eye set on 20% body fat. Don't so much care about the number of pounds I lose, just need to kick that fat in the rear! For the next four weeks, my training will be as follows:

M: Weights and HIIT(High Intensity Interval Training)
T: Zumba(active rest day)
W: Weights and LISS(Low Intensity Steady Steady cardio)
T: Zumba(active rest day)
F: Weights and HIIT
S: Weights and LISS
S: REST DAY!

Now that you've seen my busy week, let's get down to business.

W1D1 KICKED MY BUTT! While I felt like a floppy noodle after training today, it excites me that a program is challenging me on the very first day. And here I was feeling like I am in great shape already! By the third go-round of my circuit I felt like I wasn't going to be able to finish the demanded repetitions. At some point I remember yelling at my partner, "tell me our motto!" And of course, she replied with, "SHUT UP AND TRY!" So I did, and I finished. :)

Getting onto the treadmill, my body already felt exhausted but it wasn't anywhere near time to stop. My HIIT had me running 10 mph sprints for 30 seconds. I joke that I'm training to be Kenyan. ;) Thankfully I only had to run like that 8 times and there is rest in between sprints. Getting off the treadmill, I was a sweaty, shaky, noodley mess...in a good way.

Workout duration: 47:03
Calories burned: 528
Most memorable quote of the day: "It's sad when crunches are rest, Zumba is relaxing and you get excited about mocha protein powder."

Let's Play Catch...Up.

This is me in June 2011.

234 lbs.

And here I am holding the 45 lbs. that I had lost. 

Down 50!

And my most recent, 60 lbs. of weight loss.

Just a little one-year comparison picture. Not bad, eh?

So that's where I am now. Anybody can do what I did. I am no one special. The one thing I have that most people lack is motivation. When you find that spark in yourself that says, 'I can do this,' and you eat right, and you exercise, amazing things are going to happen. Everything will fall into place. Stay tuned for the next chapter of my journey!